Easy Design

What Not to Wear on that Important First Date

So you’ve finally mustered up the courage to ask that girl or guy out on a date and you want to give a good impression, so what do you wear?

This was a dilemma that I recently faced as my wardrobe consists of a variety of jeans in various states of abuse, a collection of Rip Curl t-shirts and some almost worn out Vans Shoes trainers. I have a couple of crumpled old shirts, last worn for a funeral and job interview, a suit that was out of fashion when I bought it second-hand ten years ago and a pair of over-sized wellington boots that were won in a raffle. So I was in a dilemma. Was it time to go clothes shopping or could I borrow something suitable from a friend?

I called in on a good friend who suggested that I borrow some of his designer clothes, which I thought would be a great idea. The problem was that I am a small man and he is huge. All of his beautiful designer wear was simply far too big for me. I looked like a kid who’d been let loose in his dads wardrobe. I decided to call on another friend who is closer to my size.

My good old friend Kenny is about my size and owns a huge collection of clothes. The problem is that Kenny is a flamboyant gay with a taste for garish, fluorescent colors and overly tight, stretchy clothes. He suggested that I wear a pair of his skin tight, bright green stretch trousers along with a bright orange t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan ‘Hello Big Boy’. I didn’t think that this would create the right impression with my date so I asked if he had anything else.

That was when Kenny said he had just the thing. A bright blue jumpsuit with a huge collar, studded with rhinestones. I asked Kenny if he was serious and he told me that this was the suit in which he’d met his current partner and it had made quite an impression. When I tried it on I looked like a really hopeless Elvis impersonator without a quiff or guitar.

Then Kenny showed me another wardrobe full of clothes that he said were so boring that he had never actually worn them. When I looked inside I could see that these items were far more suitable than the nasty dayglo stuff that he’d shown me so far. He had a collection of Nike ACG jackets that he had never worn because they were, in his words, too boring. There was a big pile of great looking jeans by Levis and Diesel along with tons of great looking shirts.

So Kenny came good with the loan of a great little outfit that I am pleased to report made such a good impression that my first date turned into a second and then a third. I’ve since bought myself some new clothes and treated Kenny to another tasteless tight fluorescent t-shirt in thanks for lending me the winning combo.

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